When Christians Fail At Representing Christ

I recently read a blog post that told a heart-wrenching story about how an entire church failed an aging woman who was advancing through Alzheimer’s disease and progressive dementia by completely ignoring her need for help. They blamed the elderly woman for her disease, and blamed the blogger’s family, who was helping her, for not doing enough to keep her in line and make sure she was taking her medications. Some of them even went so far as to threaten to call the police on them if the woman died. Neither the blogger or her family were related to this woman, and had no authority to make her allow them to care for her, which she refused.

To make a long story short, these church members never visited her, never offered any help, and allowed her to live out her last years alone and unloved by the church she had given so much to, including an organ and bibles. The blogger ends the piece with these words:

Christians always get angry at exvangelicals saying that we are judging the church because of one or two bad experiences supposedly that we had, but I’ve seen them hurt a ton of people. It’s not just me. If they want us to believe that God is love then they should act like God is love.

Ouch.

I wish I could say I could disagree with this person about her view of the church, but I, like many others, have been on the receiving end of the church’s careless, insensitive, and even abusive behavior. I know from reading other postings by this particular blogger that she is not exaggerating about having observed a lot of hurt by the church. She walked away from the faith, and while I won’t endorse that choice, I can understand why her faith in Christ might have been damaged so badly when the people around her were such poor representatives of His nature.

I could make this an article about how it is unfair to God to blame Him for the sins of his children. I could go into all kinds of arguments for why we shouldn’t walk away from our faith in Christ just because those who claim to follow Him often do so badly at walking in His ways. I could say that God is not the one who brings trouble into our lives, and that He never intended that we should act with callous indifference or outright condemnation toward each other. I believe all those things are true. But I’m going to focus right now on how we fail each other as Christians, and how poorly we often represent Christ to one another.

We can easily overlook how dramatic an impact we can have, for good or evil, on those around us. This is especially true for followers of Christ. If we are going to call ourselves His followers, we had best start actually following His example. That includes shedding our religious mindset and committing to looking out for the needs of others. It means not judging each other, or talking smack about someone when they’re not around. It means that instead of simply receiving blessings from God, we ask Him how we can be a blessing to others. It means understanding that what we have received from God is for His purposes, which includes sharing with others who need it.

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

• Mark 12:30-31 (ESV)

It means not turning away the pregnant, unmarried woman who comes to the church seeking help. It means passing out water to the unhomed in your neighborhood, or volunteering at a food pantry, or stopping to give water or food to a panhandler at a traffic light, or any one of many ways you can take an opportunity to be a blessing to someone. It means knowing when one of your church members is going to have surgery and going to visit them in the hospital, and volunteering to bring them food while they recover at home, or mow their lawn, or clear their walk when it snows.

In short, walking in faith means doing what Jesus would have done, and what He wants us to do, which is to look out for each other. To show love to each other, in or out of the church, to our communities, to our neighbors. That excludes condemnation, judgement, or exclusion. Not that we don’t ever hold each other accountable for living according to God’s standard, but that we do it in love, and not in a way that is designed to showcase our own religious scorecard. I can promise you, that scorecard isn’t going to get you anywhere when you give God an account for your life.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

• 1 Corinthians 13:1-2

The story about the woman with Alzheimer’s should give us pause to reflect on how we have treated those in our church who need our help. Do we look at them as a problem to deal with? An inconvenience we’d rather avoid? Or do we see them as God sees them, as one of His treasured possessions? Do we see them as an opportunity to please God or as a drain on our time and energy?

I say this because this story stopped me short and caused me to consider my own behavior on this front. I’ve passed plenty of panhandlers on the street or at traffic lights when I feel I just don’t have the time to offer them anything. Often I’ve hoped I wouldn’t run into someone in need, because then I’d be confronted with the choice to do something, or do nothing. Or heard about someone who needed help at church and thought, I’m too busy to take that on. I’ll let someone else handle it.

We need to remember that being a Christian means being an ambassador for Christ. The world looks to us to learn who Jesus is. If we’re busy telling people about Jesus but fail to live as He did, the world will see us for the hypocrites we are. Why be surprised that people walk away from the faith when those who claim to practice it present Jesus as someone who could care less about the poor, sick and downtrodden? Who can’t be bothered to check in on an old woman with Alzheimer’s instead of blaming the family who is caring for her for not doing enough? The blogger here might have arrived at the incorrect conclusion that Jesus doesn’t care, but you can’t say her church didn’t help push her toward it. We had best make sure we’re not doing the same with those around us, or we will bear our share of accountability when they decide that they don’t want to follow the Jesus we are presenting to them.

Lord, please help me to help others to know who You are by showing them the love You want us to show them. Help me to be the kind of person who looks for opportunities to help instead of how to avoid responding to need. Please forgive me for the times I’ve ignored people’s needs, and help me to recognize the opportunities You have put before me to be a blessing to others.